Emotion Daily Clean

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NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

We can spot triggers by paying attention to uncomfortable emotions.

Negative emotions are a sign that we are triggered (limbic activation).

Identifying the negative emotion can lead to the story, which can lead to the anchor.

A daily emotion clean-up is a top-down approach.

It can help us catch our triggers on a daily basis, so they don't pile up.









DAILY CLEAN

At a consistent time each day, I carve out some time to reflect and ask:

  1. Did I feel any negative emotions today (or yesterday or in the past 24 hours)?

    • Anger, Resentment, Rage, Irritation, Annoyance?

    • Grief, Sadness, Hurt?

    • Fear, Worry, Anxiety, Terror, Dread?

    • Guilt?

    • Shame?

    • Embarrassment?

    • Envy, Jealousy, Compare & Despair?

    • Judgmentalness, Criticism?

    • Blame?

  2. If so, what was I upset or bothered about?

  3. I find a handle, if needed, and use a neutralizing technique.

  4. What was the anchor?

  5. Did I speak or act on my feelings while in a dysregulated state?

  6. If so, how would I prefer to have handled the situation?

  7. Would admitting my mistake to someone else, who was involved, be helpful to them?

  8. If so, I admit to them that...

    I spoke or acted in a triggered state, instead of processing my feelings first.
    It turns out they were related to something unresolved from my past.
    I reassure them that my inappropriate reaction was not about them and that they did not deserve to be treated that way (or spoken to that way) (or dragged into the situation that way).

    I ask if there is anything I can do to repair the damage I did.

    I honor any reasonable request, as best I can.


For some people, it works best to do a daily emotion clean-up in the morning. For others the middle of the day works best. Others prefer to do it at the end of each day before going to sleep.

I prefer first thing in the morning because I have a natural tendency to reflect on my previous day when I first wake up.
But sometimes I will do the first 2 steps in the evening, reflecting on my day before going to sleep while everything is still fresh in my mind; and then I will neutralize the next morning.















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