Plan

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What Is Trauma? Alone Resolution
Re-Activated Trauma Nervous System Signs of Being Activated Secondary Activation What Not To Do What To Do
Change Location Safety Cues Breathwork Other De-Escalation Techniques What To Do When Others Are Triggered
Anchors Handles Approaches & Techniques Signs of Being Neutral Root Balls
Plan Ahead Prevention
Messengers Sensations Negative Emotions Big 3
Basic Needs Reliance Need-Based Communication Win-Win Method
Secure Attachment Love Dialects Safe Social Engagement Limits & Boundaries




PLAN AHEAD

In an activated state, I used to draw a complete blank when trying to recall any De-Escalation techniques.

Putting a bunch of techniques down on paper was immensely helpful.

Then I can go down the list and pick out one technique to start with.
When I'm done with that one, I pick out another one, and so on, until my nervous system feels more regulated.

If I am going to go into a specific situation where I know there is a chance that I might get activated, I create a tailored safety plan for that situation in advance.

I do this by picking out a handful of safety cues and other de-escalation techniques that I could use in that specific situation.
I write them down on a small piece of paper and take the paper with me.

Then, if I do get activated, I pull out that piece of paper and start using the techniques I wrote down.









GENERAL SAFETY PLAN

My go-to protocol for quickly calming the nervous system in almost any situation is below.

Depending on how intense my triggered reaction is, I might do a few or all of the items listed.

  1. Change Location

    This can include taking a 2-3 minute break, taking a 10-minute break, taking a longer break (such as 20-30 minutes or 1-2 hours), putting the phone down, stepping into another room, or going outside.



  2. Safety Cues

    • Sight

      I visually Confirm that there are no threats in the immediate environment by looking all around me:

      In Front of Me
      To one Side
      To the Other Side
      Behind Me
      Above Me
      Below/Beneath Me


    • Touch

      A. Havening

      Optional: I like to breath slowly and deeply, elongating the outbreath, while doing these 5 havening touches.

      Optional: While doing these Havening touches, I often repeat silently or aloud: "Safe, Connected, Loved"

      • Palms - I rub the palms of my hands together with the fingertips pointed upwards

      • Circular Palms - I rub the palms of my hands together in a circular motion

      • Arms - Crossing my arms, I brush my palms down my arms from the shoulders down to the elbows
        I lift my hands off my arms as I return to the top so I am brushing in one direction only - downward

      • Edges of Face - Starting in the center at the top of my forehead at the edge of my hairline, I let my hands slide lightly down the edges of my face on both sides

      • Into Hairline - Going a little further into the hairline now, I do the same thing, letting my hands slide down the edges of my face


      B. Container

      • Arm/Leg Squeeze - I gently squeeze all the muscles in my Arms (starting at the top and going down). I do this a few times.
        Then, I squeeze all the muscles in my Legs (starting at the tops of my thighs and going all the way down to the ankles). I can do one leg at a time or both legs at the same time.

      • Brush Torso Down - I brush my Torso in a Downward Motion with Alternating Hands, starting on one side, brushing over to the front and continuing to the other side. Then, I go back in the other direction - going back and forth a few times)

      • Self-Hug - I place my palms on on my shoulders or upper arms and give myself a hug, holding it for a while.
        Another version of this is to put my Right Palm under my Left Armpit near my heart (with my thumb sticking up) and put my other palm on my opposite Shoulder.
        Optional: I like to take 3 slow, deep breaths, elongating the outbreath, while doing the self-hug.





  3. Breathe

    While doing the havening touches, I take at least 5 slow, deep breaths.

    (I elongate the out-breath for a deeper relaxation effect.)

    While doing the self-hug, I take 3 more deep breaths.



  4. Other De-Escalation Techniques

    • Positive Input

      I read or listen to something uplifting.


    • Spend Time in Nature


    • Talk to a Safe Person

      I talk to someone on the phone or in person - someone who is a good listener and can be empathetic and remain neutral (and impartial, if needed).









SOCIAL EVENTS / WORK

If I am going to a social event (or work) or somewhere else, I write down a safety plan and create an exit plan.
My exit plan ensures that I have a way to get home if I need to leave early.

For instance, if I get triggered at an event (or work), I can...

  • Change Location for a few minutes
    • Step out into the hallway
    • Go to the restroom
    • Step outside
      (sit on a bench, take a walk, or sit in my car)

  • Smell a calming essential oil (that I have already determined is safe for me)

  • Do some tapping (thymus, karate chop hand point/s, or fingers)

  • Visually confirm there are no threats in the environment by looking around me.
    (In Front of me, Left Side, Right Side, Behind Me, Above, Below)

  • Do some havening (my favorite is brushing my hands down the outside of my arms - shoulders to elbows)

  • Take 10-20 deep breaths

  • Make a phone call to a grounded, calming person

  • Choose to leave and go home.









CAR / ROAD TRIPS

For some strange reason, it is super common for people to get triggered in automobiles.

This is unfortunate because this small, enclosed space offers little opportunity to change location.

With some advance planning, though, I can reduce the chances of triggers happening in the car and more effectively deal with triggers that do happen.

If I am running errands with someone, we can pick out some safe spots in the city in advance and agree to stop at one of them, if one of us gets triggered. (e.g. park, bookstore, library, store parking lot)

If I am going on a road trip with others, I can try to get everyone to agree in advance to pull over for 10 minutes if someone gets triggered.
Stopping for 10 minutes at a rest stop or gas station or a store parking lot can give the triggered person a little time and space to de-escalate.

I keep some Safety Cue Tools in my car at all times and take some with me whenever I go on a trip (by car or plane).


THINGS I BRING

  • Rosewater in a Spray Bottle
    I mist my face with it, and it instantly calms me down.

  • Peppermint Tea Bags
    (very calming to smell and a handy liquid-free option)

  • Music/Songs made for Children
    (They contain vocal prosody.)

  • Music, a Podcast, or Audio Books that everyone will enjoy
    (helps to avoid contentious conversations, and music provides rhythm, which is grounding)

  • Music, Podcasts, and Audio Books that I Like
    I have some on my phone that I can listen to privately or share with others. I also have CDs in my car.

  • Headphones/Earbuds
    (in case I am riding with people, who do not share my taste in music, podcasts or audio books)

  • Snacks
    Keeping everyone's blood sugar even helps avoid fights & arguments.

THINGS I DO IF I CAN CHANGE LOCATION

If I or someone else gets triggered, and I can change location:

  • I stop at the nearest rest stop, gas station or store parking lot and get out of the car for a few minutes

  • Burn off some Adrenaline by taking a brisk walk or doing some jumping jacks

  • Look All Around & Visually Confirm that there are No Real Threats in my environment

  • Smell an Essential Oil (that I know is safe for me) and/or Spritz my face with Rosewater

  • Do Havening Touch (hands, arms, face)

  • Take 10 Deep Breaths (in count of 3, out count of 6 through slightly pursed lips)

  • Do some Tapping

  • Call a Neutral Person, who has a soothing voice and a grounding presence and can help me de-escalate


THINGS I DO IF I CANNOT CHANGE LOCATION

If I or someone else gets triggered, and I cannot change location, here are some things I can do.

  • Change the Topic of the Conversation to a less contentious one (Look at that bird!)

  • Look Outside at the Beautiful Scenery

  • Listen (with headphones) to my Music, an Audio Book, a Podcast, or an inspirational Speaker

  • Get some Safe Social Engagement by listening (with headphones) to a phone or zoom meeting, if one is happening

  • Subtle Tapping (Hand, Fingers, or Thymus)

  • Bilateral Shoulder/Arm Squeeze

  • 10 Quiet Deep Breaths (elongating the out-breath)

  • Smell a Peppermint Tea Bag








SAFETY PLAN FOR TODAY

Each day, I can create a safety plan for my day.
Depending on my activities for the day.

If I am going to be around people, I especially need a safety plan, because my chances of getting activated go up whenever I am around other people.

A Preventative Safety Plan for each day could include:

  • A food plan

  • An exercise plan

  • A spending plan (for money)

  • A time spending plan (including rest breaks and relaxation)


A safety plan for people who are in a 12-Step recovery program could include the following 7 Daily Practices:

  1. Pray (in some way)

  2. Uncover & Neutralize an Anchor

  3. Organize the Day around a Meeting

  4. Create a Safety Plan for the Day

  5. Read Literature (2 pages)

  6. Check In with a Sponsor (call or text)

  7. Two Outreach Calls (make or receive)














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