Safety Cues

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SAFETY CUES

We can send Safety Cues to our nervous system through our 5 senses, and this is one of the quickest ways to regulate our nervous system.

Regulate to De-Escalate

I have noticed that even just reading descriptions of Safety Cues out loud (or hearing them read) has a calming effect!

Below is my go-to Safety Cue protocol for quickly calming my nervous system.

Depending on how intense my triggered reaction is, I might do just one or two or all of the items listed.

  1. Sight
    Visually Confirm there are no threats in my immediate environment, by looking all around me
    In Front of Me
    Behind Me
    To one Side
    To the other Side
    Above Me
    Below/Beneath Me

  2. Touch
    A. Havening
    (Palms, Circular Palms, Upper Arms, Edges of Face, Into Hairline)
    Optional: Repeat silently or aloud: "Safe, Connected, Loved"

    B. Container
    Gently Squeeze all the muscles in the Arms, then the Legs (top to bottom)
    Brush Torso Down with Alternating Hands (side to front to other side and back a few times)
    Container Hold (Self-Hug - Upper Arms / Shoulders / Left Armpit & Right Shoulder)

    C. Tapping
    Gently tap 1-3 fingers on one or more points on the body
    (Some Popular Options are Edge of Hand aka "karate chop point", Thymus, Around the Edge of Ears, Top of Head, Under Nose)
    Optional: Repeat silently or aloud: "I deeply love and accept myself."

  3. 5 Deep Breaths
    I like to take 5 slow, deep breaths at the end or just breath slowly and deeply while I do the various touches above.
    (I like to elongate the out-breath for a deeper relaxation effect)


The Safety Cues above do not require any tools and one or more of them is often enough to de-escalate a triggered reaction and begin to get the nervous system more regulated.

Below are more detailed descriptions as well as additional Safety Cues for each of the 5 senses and for the Vagus Nerve.













SIGHT

We can send safety cues to our brain through our eyes. Sight is the most powerful sense for humans.


VISUAL CONFIRMATION

I look around me, in All Directions, to visually confirm that there are No Threats in my immediate environmen:

I Look in Front of me

To one Side

To the other Side

Behind me

Above me

And Below me


LIGHT

Fear is often heightened in darkness, when visibility of the surroundings is low to nil.
Having lights on at night increases visibility, allowing us to see that there are no threats in the immediate environment, which increases our sense of safety.

When returning home after dark, having exterior lights on increases a sense of safety and relaxation, generating positive feelings about coming home rather than stressful ones.

Visibility at night might be even more important to women than to men. Some sources say that women's brains are wired to be on the lookout for danger in their environment at all times.













TOUCH

We can send safety cues to our brain through safe physical touch.


CONTAINER

According to Peter Levine, traumatized people have a hole in their boundaries, and feeling physically contained gives us a sense of safety and a feeling of being emotionally contained, too, which makes emotions & sensations feel less overwhelming.

We can feel physically contained by connecting with the physical boundaries of our body by sensing - through physical touch - the physical container that is our body, especially the shoulders, arms, and torso.

(He demonstrates these container holds on YouTube.)

  • Container Hold 1 (Self-Hug)
    Crossing my arms, I place my palms on each shoulder (or lower down on the outside of each upper arm), and hold for several minutes.

  • Container Hold 2 (Self-Hug)
    I place one palm under my underarm near my heart. I place the other palm on the outside of the other arm. I hold for several minutes.

  • Bedtime Container Hold
    I place one palm on my forehead and the other palm on my upper chest. (Eyes open or closed.)
    I just feel what goes on between my hands for a few minutes.
    When I feel some kind of a shift, I move my top hand to my belly.
    Again, I feel what goes on between my hands for a few minutes, until there is some kind of shift.
    (This hold can be done any time, but doing this before bed is said to help us fall asleep better and have more productive dreams, and I have experienced that.)

  • Arms & Legs
    Using both hands, I either gently squeeze all the muscles in my arms and/or legs from top to bottom or gently pat my palms down my arms and/or legs.

  • Torso
    I brush my palms in an alternating downward motion down the front and sides of my torso.
    (I start at one side and go around to the front, then the other side and back several times.)


HAVENING

Somebody discovered that certain touches are naturally soothing and humans often instinctually do them to calm themselves or others.
I do one or more of the following havening touches for as long as desired to usher in and savor a deep sense of safety.

(Many people demonstrate havening touches on YouTube.)

Optional - Repeat silently or out loud "Safe, Connected, Loved" while doing them

  • Palms
    I rub the palms of my hands together straight up and down (with fingertips pointed upward).
    Alternate Version: I rub the palms of my hands together in a circular fashion.

  • Arms
    I brush my hands down my outer arms, from my shoulders down to the elbows. (One direction only)

  • Sides of Face
    I allow my hands to gently slide down the sides of my face starting in the middle of the top of my forehead.
    Alternate Version: I go partly into the hairline.

  • Cheeks
    I gently sweep my fingers across my cheeks (from the bridge of my nose) and off the sides of my face.

  • Orbital Bone
    I gently sweep my fingers along the bony ridge around my eyes from the inner eyebrows to the outer eyebrows, and down and around underneath my eyes to the bridge of my nose.

  • Face Wash
    With the outer edges of my hands and pinky fingers touching and my fingertips pointing upward, I cup my hands and lightly slide them down my face from top to bottom as if I am washing my face.


TAPPING (On The Body)

I tap on one of the areas below with 1-3 of my fingertips for a few seconds or a few minutes.
(If I want to, I repeat to myself silently or out loud, "I deeply love and accept myself")

  • Thymus
    I tap over my thymus (on the bony area just below the semicircle between collar bones)

  • Collar
    I tap underneath my collar bones (not on the bone)

  • Karate Chop Point
    I tap on the outer edge of one hand (or alternate between hands)

  • Top of Head

  • Ears
    Starting at the front where my ear joins my head, I tap on my head all the way around the outer edge of my ears down to the bottom where my earlobes join my head and then all the way back up to the front starting point.


DRY BRUSHING

Brushing the legs and arms with a body brush.
(Moving in an upward direction has the added benefit of circulating lymph.)


MOTION/MOVEMENT

The vestibular system is part of the touch sense.
Certain types of movement are naturally soothing to the nervous system.

  • Swinging in a Hammock

  • Rocking in a Rocking Chair

  • Whole Body Vibration (standing on a vibration plate)

  • Slow Yoga

  • Tai Chi

  • Qi Gong













SMELL

We can send safety cues to our brain through our nose.
Our sense of smell is wired directly into our survival system.


ROSEWATER

I don't like perfumey smells, but I found a brand of rosewater that doesn't smell perfumey to me at all. It comes in a spray bottle, and when I mist my face with it, it instantly makes me feel calmer.


MINT TEA

I discovered that not ony is drinking mint or peppermint tea soothing, but even just putting a dry tea bag up to my nose and smelling it is incredibly soothing. I usually carry a couple of mint tea bags with me wherever I go.


LAVENDER

The smell of lavender flowers is super soothing to many people, and they tend to retain their smell for a long time - even after they dry out.


ESSENTIAL OILS

I like to smell peppermint or lavendar oil as a sensory cue to usher in and increase a sense of calm.
For aromatic usage, I hold the bottle under my nose for 3 or 4 breaths.

Since I use concentrated, pure, undiluted essential oils, I am careful when first smelling any essential oil directly from the bottle. I have done some experimentation to find out how I personally react to their aroma and where my comfort levels are.

I have also done some research on side effects and contraindications for the essential oils I like.

For example, I learned that undiluted peppermint and lavender oils are skin irritants. However, they don't seem to irritate my skin. Others might want to dilute them if using them on skin.
Clove oil can be a lung irritant, so I do not smell that straight from the bottle, but it still smells really nice diluted.

I prefer a 2%, 3% or 5% dilution for my essential oils, which is 1, 2 or 3 drops of essential oil per 2ml of carrier oil such as jojoba or coconut.

I learned that some essential oils can cause the skin to become sensitive to sunlight.
The steam-distilled versions often fix this problem.

I love the way citrus oils smell, and I do not have a citrus allergy or sensitivity, but citrus oils have a toxic effect on dogs, cats and birds (including in diffuser blends), so I mostly avoid them (washing my hands well if I handle them).


SIMMERING

Simmering apples and cinnamon in water on the stove fills a home with soothing scents that can inspire feelings of safety.













TASTE

We can send safety cues to our brain through our sense of taste.


MEMORABLE FOOD or BEVERAGE

Many of us have a special dish or meal or beverage that brings back memories of happiness and safety.


WARM FOOD or BEVERAGE

The warmth of a warm bowl of soup or warm cup of tea can be soothing in and of itself.


HERBAL TEA

Certain herbs have a soothing effect on the brain.













HEARING

We can send safety cues to our brain through our ears.


SWEET SELF TALK

Saying sweet, comforting things to ourselves in a comforting voice


HEALING SOUND FREQUENCIES

  • Tuning Forks

  • Singing Bowls

  • Gentle Bell with a lovely, long reverberation

  • Gong

  • Xylophone
    (I once had a xylophone with such a sweet tone, it not only soothed my nervous system when I played it, but it also soothed the nervous system of anyone listening.)

  • 432Hz (Earth, Emotional Connection, Soothing/Calming)

  • 528Hz (Sun, Unconditional Love, Soothing/Calming, Helps restore DNA to its original state)


RHYTHM

Slow, deep (low) drum beats are especially soothing because they sound like a calm heartbeat; but flute and other musical instruments can also be soothing to the nervous system.


VOCAL PROSODY

Prosody can be described as the musical quality of speech.
It includes rhythm, stress, intonation, melody, pitch (high or low), loudness (loud or soft), duration (fast or slow) and pauses.

Certain qualities in the human voice are naturally soothing to the nervous system.

The higher pitched sing-songy voice that we tend to naturally use when talking to babies sends safety cues to the brain.
So does smooth, fluid speech that does not contain a lot of unnatural pauses.

Some things we can do to get vocal prosody:

  • Listen to Childrens Music, which contains higher-pitched sing-songy voices
  • Listen to a Musician or Speaker, who has a smooth, fluid, soothing voice that we find pleasant
  • Call someone, who has a calm, soothing voice













VAGUS NERVE STIMULATION

The vagus nerve is the long, wandering nerve that connects all of our organs to our nervous system. This nerve facilitates the relaxation response (Rest & Digest, Safe & Social) and the freeze response. Stimulating the vagus nerve increases the ability to shift into a state of calm by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (Social Engagement).

  • 5-10 Slow, Deep Breaths

    Slow, deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve.
    We naturally breath slower and deeper, when we feel safe. Slow, deep breathing signals safety to our nervous system as well as to the nervous systems of others.
    (Even just being in the presence of someone, who is breathing slowly and deeply, can help calm our nervous system.)

  • Elongated Out-Breath

    Like a big sigh of relief, elongated out-breaths stimulate the vagus nerve to activate the Social Engagement system.

    Some activities that elongate the out-breath include:
    • Deep Breathing
      Take a deep breath in and elongate the out breath by breathing out through slightly pursed lips, to create a little resistance.
      (I like to breathe in for a count of 3 and out for a count of 6)
    • Whistling
    • Humming
    • Singing
    • Chanting
    • Holding a sustained voo or om sound
    • Playing a flute or woodwind or brass instrument
    • Gargling Water

  • Clove

    Clove stimulates the vagus nerve.

    Some people add a clove to their simmering pot of apples and cinnamon.

    Some people like to use clove essential oil as a soothing aromatic.

    Pure clove essential oil is considered a lung irritant, so I prefer to dilute it or apply it to my skin rather than smell the undiluted essential oil directly from the bottle.
    I rub a Clove Essential Oil blend behind my ears on the mastoid bone.
    (In a 2ml glass roller bottle, I put 5 drops of Clove, 12 drops of steam-distilled Lime, and 20 drops of a Carrier Oil like Jojoba or fractionated Coconut oil.)
    I learned that Steam-Distilled lime oil does not cause the skin to become photosensitive, like regular lime oil can.
    Lime is citrus, and citrus oils have a toxic effect on pets (dogs, cats and birds) (even in diffuser blends), so I wash my hands well after touching any citrus essential oils.













Uses for Safety Cues

There are many applications for self-administered Safety Cues.

I use them whenever I get dysregulated or before or after doing something dysregulating (or potentially dysregulating).

  • Before, during and after talking about or thinking about past trauma

  • Before, during or after a phone call. (e.g. I can do some Safety Cues at the beginning of a call, or I can take a 3-minute break at any point during the call to do some Safety Cues)

  • While Driving
    (I often get stressed about reckless drivers on the road, so I take a spray bottle of rosewater with me)

  • While Traveling - Airports or Road Trips
    (I take a couple of peppermint tea bags and a small spray bottle of rosewater with me)
    (The peppermint tea bags have the added benefit of reducing nausea, if I get carsick or nauseous on a plane due to turbulence.)

  • Before doing Mental Work of any kind
    (helps me absorb info and focus better)

Safety Cues can also help us cultivate a general sense of safety within our nervous system.

  • We can begin our days by ushering in and savoring a deep sense of safety using Havening touch.

  • First thing in the Morning
    (especially, if we wake up with anxiety, grief, depression or any other negative emotion)

    (I also like to do a TAT™ before getting out of bed in the morning, putting my negative feelings or thoughts into a pot.)
    (If I had a bad dream, I put ALL THE SYMBOLISM IN THAT DREAM in the pot.)
    See tatlife.com for info about this technique.

  • At Bedtime (to help us relax and fall asleep)
    We can end our day with the bedtime Container touch.
    This technique can help us fall asleep faster and have more productive dreams.

  • All Throughout the Day (to help undo chronic, low-level Fight/Flight/Freeze)













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