NEUTRALIZING APPROACHES

There are three basic approaches to resolving trauma (that I know of).
The bottom-up approach, the top-down approach and a combination of the two.

1. Bottom-Up
   The bottom-up approach focuses on the body and calming the nervous system first.
   When the body and nervous system have calmed down, then the mental or emotional work of identifying and neutralizing the underlying trauma can be done.
   Somatic trauma healing techniques that just focus on releasing stuff held in the tissues of the body are also bottom up approaches. After doing them, memories and/or emotions may or may not come up.
   
   The bottom-up approach works best for most people I have met.
   Some people need to lean heavily into de-escalating (calming the nervous system) first; otherwise, the emotional pain is too great or their thoughts are bouncing all over the place, making it impossible to get a handle on what the real underlying issue is.


2. Top-Down
   The top-down approach is doing the emotional or mental work of identifying and neutralizing the underlying trauma first, and then the nervous system naturally calms down and gets regulated as a result.
   
   The top-down approach works best for me.
   I can move quickly or immediately into neutralizing with little to no de-escalation first, finding that my nervous system calms down as soon as I have done the emotional or mental work of neutralizing the past trauma.
   
   However, if my triggered reaction is very intense, I will sometimes need to take a bottom-up approach by doing Safety Cues or other De-Escalation techniques first.
   The intensity of my trigger will determine how much de-escalation I need to do to calm my nervous system down before I can start to uncover and neutralize the anchor.


3. Combo
   Some techniques work with both the body and the mind/emotions at the same time.
   
   It is also possible to combine de-escalation and neutralizing and do them at the same time.
   De-escalating can be added to practically any neutralizing technique, and addressing past trauma can be added to practically any de-escalation technique.
   
   The most common way is to add rhythm - which is very calming and grounding - to a neutralizing technique.
   
   Many neutralizing techniques can be done while walking, hiking, jogging, running, cycling or swimming (adding bilateral rhythm).
   
   For example, EMDR is a neutralizing technique, which has rhythm built into it in the form of bilateral (side to side) movements. These rhythmic bilateral movements can be side-to-side eye movements (without moving your head), sound, vibration, touch (such as crossing your arms and alternately patting each shoulder or upper arm with the palm of your hand or alternately patting your thighs with your hands), or alternating footsteps while walking or running.

A WORD OF CAUTION

I have found that if any neutralizing technique brings up something that is too difficult for me to deal with at the time, I can always stop the process and do some Safety Cues and/or other De-Escalation techniques to soothe my nervous system.
I can also call someone to help me get grounded again.

Another thing that can help is to imagine a safe place before beginning a technique. Then, if things get too rough during the technique, I can stop and use my imagination to go back to my safe place.

If you experience a mental health or other emergency, please contact your local emergency services (for example, 911) or go to the nearest emergency room.

The one time I had a negative experience with a technique was with Self-EMDR.
It brought up something way too big for me to deal with on my own, and it disrupted my day. I couldn't function for the rest of the day.
(I did not know about Safety Cues back then.)
The next day, when I woke up, I was back to normal.
Although I consider that to be a negative experience, I do not feel that I was harmed by it.

Years later, I tried self-EMDR again 3 different times (in a group setting instead of alone) with a less intense reaction, and I found it to be extremely helpful.

It sometimes takes several sessions for me to fully neutralize a past trauma using self-EMDR, so is not a technique that I use often. I prefer techniques that fully resolve the issue for me in a single session.

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE

I find it is essential for most people to be guided through a technique a few times before attempting to do it on their own.

Some people will need to work with a professional when attempting to uncover and neutralize past trauma.

Some people will need to work with a person, who simply has experience and the capacity to hold space without getting triggered themselves.

Some people will need to work with a professional to uncover and neutralize some traumas, will be able to work with another experienced person to uncover and neutralize other traumas, and will be able to uncover and neutralize some traumas by themselves.

NEUTRALIZING TECHNIQUES

Although de-escalating our triggered reaction can be very soothing and helps us regain some access to our cortex, we are still in danger of intentionally or unintentionally causing harm when triggered.

Until we have uncovered the past trauma and neutralized it, we are still seeing the current situation through the filter of the past, which makes it difficult or impossible to respond appropriately.

There are many techniques that can help us identify and neutralize (resolve) past trauma.

Which technique(s) a person will like is a matter of personal preference.

Not every technique will work for every person or will work every time.

Over time I have tried many techniques and witnessed many others in action.

I like to work with one technique for a while. Then another technique might become my new go-to technique for a while.

It usually just takes one technique to neutralize an anchor for me,
but sometimes I need to use more than one technique or use more than one handle.

I have found that I can also use these techniques to neutralize limiting beliefs picked up randomly in life, not just from past trauma.

Here is a list of some neutralizing techniques and modalities that I know about:


Bottom-Up:

1. Somatic Experiencing (SE) created by Peter Levine
   Website Link: SE 101
   There are many SE practitioners.

Combo:

1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) created by Francine Shapiro
   Doing EMDR with a trained professional, at first, is generally recommended.
   Overview Link: About EMDR
   
   A self-EMDR process is described in the book And So We Begin by James M. (page 61)


2. TAT™ (Tapas Acupressure Technique) created by Tapas Fleming
   Website Link: tatlife.com
   Video: What is TAT?
   TAT Demonstration Video by Tapas Fleming: TAT pose and stoppers... with Tapas Fleming


3. Re-Evaluation Counseling (RC) created by Harvey Jackins
   Website Link: Origins of RC
   Website Link: About RC

Top-Down:

1. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) created by Richard Schwartz
   Website Link: IFS Model
   Website Link: About IFS


2. Family Constellations Therapy created by Bert Hellinger
   Website Link: What Is Family Constellations?


3. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) created by Marisa Peer


4. Completion Process created by Teal Swan
   Book Link: The Completion Process Book
   Website Outline Link (scroll down to about the middle of the page): 12-Step Completion Process Outline
   Video: Completion Process
   Video: Triggers - Emotions
   Video: Unhook the perception of threat


5. Graduation Exercise - described in the book And So We Begin by James M. (pages 57-58)


6. Thought Rhyming (part of Immanuel Journaling) - a Christian-based journaling exercise
   Book Link: Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel
   Informative Website: presenceandpractice.com
   Worksheet Link: Worksheet - See Part B


7. ABC Tool (a SMART Recovery tool) - a Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) Approach
   Website Link: About ABC
   Video: 4 Minute Guide/Explanation
   Video: 3 1/2 Minute Guide/Explanation
   To turn this into a neutralizing technique, I examine where the negative core belief originated from (the past trauma).


8. The Work created by Byron Katie
   This is technically not a neutralizing technique because it does not address the anchor (past experience/underlying trauma), but it does dislodge old beliefs by making us question them and cracks the door open to new beliefs, shifting our nervous system out of survival mode.
   Website Link: TheWork.com
   Demonstration Video: My Son Is Selfish
   Demonstration Video: My Brother Smokes In The House
   Part 1: Complaints List
   Part 2: One Belief At A Time
   Part 3: Judge Your Neighbor - 6 Statements
   Worksheet Link: All 3 Worksheets
   Worksheet Link: One Belief At A Time Worksheet
   Worksheet Link: Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet

TAPPING/EFT

Tapping is not a good beginner technique for neutralizing anchors.

It is a powerful de-escalation technique, but it does not naturally uncover anchors (past trauma). It is not fully effective at neutralizing re-activated trauma unless the person using it can uncover the anchor (past trauma) themselves or they are being guided by someone else to do so.

It is best to use other techniques first to gain some familiarity with anchors and what it feels like to be truly neutral.

I have seen many people not make progress for years because they rely only on Tapping in the beginning to try to neutralize trauma.
They think they are getting neutral when they are merely getting calmer (de-escalating). Tapping can be incredibly soothing.

Sometimes the signs that a person is still activated after Tapping are very subtle, but I can usually hear it in their voice or see it in their desire to create rules or set boundaries around the behavior of other people so they will feel safe.

They are not feeling safe in a relatively safe situation. That is a big clue.

MORE TECHNIQUES

Below are some neutralizing techniques that emerged organically for me from things I have read or heard or from other techniques that I use frequently.

The first one is a bottom-up approach and the rest are top-down.

BodyTalk

This technique can be done while walking, sitting or lying down.

One day, at work, I spontaneously did this while walking around doing my job, and it resulted in neutralizing an anchor.

I didn't even know I was upset about anything, when I started. I was simply checking in with my body.

This technique works whether I have a specific trigger in mind or not.

This technique is a bottom-up approach because it starts by focusing on a physical sensation in the body.
Sensations are connected to emotions and stories.

This is how the technique works:


Silently ask your body, "Hey, Body, how are you feeling?"

Your attention will naturally be drawn to a physical sensation somewhere in your body.
Allow yourself to fully feel this sensation...

As you give this sensation your attention, you start to notice an emotion.
Allow yourself to fully feel this emotion...

As you give this emotion your attention, a memory might surface.
Gently observe it...

This memory might be followed by others.
Follow this stream of consciousness,
Gently observing all the memories that come up..............

After a while, you begin to notice that this trip down memory lane is revealing connections between events in the past and recent events in your life...

You might see a lifelong pattern emerging...

A significant issue in your life is now being illuminated...

You can clearly see that an old program has been running on the hard drive of your subconscious mind.
You understand where this program came from and that it is no longer relevant or needed.
You can let it go now...

This old program is being uninstalled from your subconscious mind...

Your system is being updated...

You feel lighter... freer... perhaps even filled with joy....

The Story

1. What happened? What am I upset about?
   
   Example:
   This is escalating into physical violence. This is getting really dangerous. I am afraid she is going to get hurt really badly.


2. What situation in my past does this remind me of?
   
   Example:
   The violence in my 3-year marriage escalated to where I was getting thrown around like a rag doll by my husband, who was much bigger than I was.
   
   Note:
   Through the current situation, I am reliving an experience from the past. The current situation is similar in some way to something traumatic that happened earlier in my life. I am unable to see any differences between the past situation and the present situation, only the similarities. I am emotionally regressed to whatever age I was at the time of the past experience. I fear that the present situation will have the same outcome. I am making a negative prediction about the future and am convinced that it will happen. I have an overwhelming sense of doom.


3. What story am I telling myself about this situation?
   
   Example:
   She is going to get thrown around like I did.


4. What is really happening?
   
   Example:
   He is harassing her.
   (Which is bad, but not as bad as what I am fearing.)


5. What is a new story I can tell myself?
   
   Example:
   Her situation is very different from mine. In 30 years he has never thrown her around, so it is not likely that he will start now.
   
   Note:
   When this technique works, I am able to see and appreciate the differences between the past and present situations, and a New Story (and outcome) seems believable.

Here is another example scenario...

1. What happened? What am I upset about?
   
   Another driver darted out in front of me, I had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting their car, and my body generated a huge shot of adrenaline.


2. What situation in my past does this remind me of?
   
   23 years ago an oncoming driver was driving too fast on a snowy road, slid across the road and crashed into me, totaling my car and injuring me.


3. What story am I telling myself about this situation?
   
   It is not safe to drive. I am in danger. There are too many reckless drivers on the road and drivers with poor judgment out here endangering their own lives and the lives of others.


4. What is really happening?
   
   Obviously I can handle these drivers and whatever comes up on the road because I have not been in a single crash in over 20 yrs.


5. What is a new story I can tell myself?
   
   I got this! I am an experienced driver now. I have over 20 years of driving experience, not less than 1 year like I did back when that accident happened.

By paying attention to the Stories I am telling myself and disputing them, I find out what parts of the past are still alive in me and open the door to new possibilities - New Stories.

Deeply Acknowledge

Ben Ralston says that trauma is about survival (safety).
He says that any being, when subjected to a perceived threat, reacts by trying to protect itself against the threat, trying to be safe, trying to survive.
To let go of trauma, Ben says we need to peel back the layers of safety we have been holding onto.
He says we can do this by deeply acknowledging the very first reaction we had.
Then we can complete the trauma instead of staying stuck in the survival instinct, which protected us at the time.

Ben talks about that in this 10-minute video:
How to release or let go of buried feelings and suppressed feelings?

My takeaway from what Ben says in the video is a technique I call "Deeply Acknowledge".


A. Handle
Thinking about the situation that I feel upset about, I ask myself, What is the central problem?
If I'd like, I can also ask, What is the underlying fear beneath this problem?

B. 2 Statements
Then I insert that problem or fear (handle) into the blanks in the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between __________________ and lack of safety.

2. It is safe now to __________________.
OR
I am safe now even if __________________.




Example:
The problem is my friend does not understand me.

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [not being understood] and lack of safety.
   OR
   I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being misunderstood] and lack of safety.


2. It is safe now to [be misunderstood].
   OR
   I am safe now even if [someone doesn't understand me].

Example:
The underlying fear is that I will be rejected.

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being rejected] and lack of safety.


2. It is safe now to [be rejected].
   OR
   I am safe now even if [someone rejects me].

Example:
The problem is that the person bullied me or the underlying fear is that I will be bullied.

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being bullied] and lack of safety.


2. I am safe now even if [someone tries to bully me].
   OR
   In most situations, I am safe now as an adult even if [someone tries to bully me].
   
   (Keep in mind that neutralizing techniques are meant for situations in which there is no real threat present, but we think there is because we are subconsciously equating our present situation with a past event in which there was an actual or perceived threat.)

Alternate Version
I identify my survival reaction and insert it into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between __________________ and safety.

2. It is safe now to __________________.
OR
I am safe now even if __________________.




Example:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [staying silent] and safety.


2. It is safe now to [speak up for myself].

Example:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [people-pleasing] and safety.


2. It is safe now to [stop trying to please others].
   OR
   It is safe now to [focus on what would please me instead of on pleasing other people].
   OR
   I am safe now even if [someone is displeased].

These statements update my system, which changes my subconscious program/script.

This technique can sometimes stand on its own, but I almost always pair it with the next technique - Breaking Agreements - using the same handle.

Breaking Agreements

I insert the issue (handle) into the following two statements:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to __________________.

2. I no longer agree that I am bad if __________________.


Example 1:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be misunderstood].


2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone misunderstands me].
   OR
   I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone does not understand me].

Example 2:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be rejected by someone].


2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone rejects me].

Example 3:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be bullied].
   
   (That is not to say that bullying itself isn't bad.)


2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone bullies me].

Example 4:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [speak up].


2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [I speak up for myself].

Example 5:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be displeased].
   OR
   I no longer agree that it is bad for [others to be displeased].
   OR
   I no longer agree that it is bad if [someone is displeased].


2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone is displeased].

This technique was inspired by what I read in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

To sum it up, when we were kids, many adults told us a bunch of untrue stuff in order to get us to behave how they thought we should.
I think most of these adults were well-meaning. Perhaps some were not.
Either way, by complying with what they said and trying to be "good", we essentially agreed with them that how we naturally were was "bad".

Now we can break all those agreements, freeing us to be how we naturally are, instead of how other people wanted us to be.

This technique can stand on its own or be tacked on at the end of any other neutralizing technique.

Protector Update

I once heard Thomas Hubl say that trauma freezes time, and that really stuck with me.

This technique evolved out of my understanding of that and of Parts (from Internal Family Systems) and repeated use of a reframing exercise called the Graduation Exercise.

I found that I can liberate the internal parts of me that stepped up to protect me long ago when I was a vulnerable child simply by verbally updating them.

When I discover a story or old belief or old strategy for meeting my needs that no longer serves me, but I can't seem to let go of it, then I know that a part of me is still using that story, belief or strategy to protect me.

I speak directly to this Protector part of me.


"Thank you for your dedicated service all these years.
You have shown tremendous perseverence in trying to keep me safe by ______________________________.
[For Example: driving me do everything in my power to get others to understand me, so they will like me - or at least not hate me]

That helped me survive in the dysfunctional environment I grew up in.

I am an adult now, and my life circumstances are very different now than they were back then.
I no longer need you to do this service anymore.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me!"

First Time (Vulnerable Child)

Thinking about a current triggering event, I ask myself a series of questions.

1. What am I feeling?
   
   (At first, I needed to use a feelings list to help me identify my feelings.)


2. When was the first time I ever felt this feeling?
   
   I acknowledge and give myself empathy for every experience that comes to mind as I wait for the first time to surface.
   
   Eventually something really old comes up (from my childhood), and I intuitively recognize it as the original, very first time.
   
   (I do not always need to have a direct memory of what happened, to resolve it. One time a story I had been told about something that happened when I was two years old came to mind, and I immediately recognized that as the unresolved root trauma.)
   
   I give myself lots of empathy.
   
   [For Example: "I was so young, when that happened! Of course I was overwhelmed! That was so difficult, confusing and painful for such a small child to deal with all alone!"]


3. What did I need when that happened?
   
   I imagine those needs getting met.


4. Why were my needs unmet?
   
   I examine what my child self's interpretation was of what happened.
   
   I re-evaluate what happened, applying my adult understanding to the situation.
   
   Knowing what I know now, as an adult, I examine what was going on in the lives of the adults around me at that time.
   
   I usually discover that I have been living with some unnecessary fear and erroneous beliefs about myself, other people, and the world as a result of my limited child-level interpretation of what happened.





Increasing understanding decreases fear.

Once my feelings about the root trauma are transformed, my feelings about the current event that triggered me automatically shift, and I am able to see it and respond to it in a different way.

This technique emerged for me after listening to Teal Swan talk about resolving trauma by asking yourself 2 questions (What am I feeling? When was the first time I ever felt this feeling?) and then imagining getting your needs met in that past situation.

Those 2 questions are very similar to another technique I heard someone describe, which they referred to as a Regression technique. (What am I feeling? When was another time I felt this way?)

For me, the 3 key components of resolving trauma are acknowledgement, empathy and understanding.

The importance of acknowledgement in the healing process is emphasized by Paramahamsa Nithyananda in a talk he gave about a Vedic completion process.
Click Here to Watch Video (start at 4:17)

Self-Empathy is an important part of any kind of reparenting and inner child work.

I have discovered that re-evaluating things that happened in the past and developing a new understanding of them helps me liberate myself from the past.

Past Experience

If I have already identified an anchor (a past experience - my own or another's), and I do not want to resonate with it anymore, I can say a series of statements to clear away the residue.

1. State the experience.

(What happened?)

2. Say the following statements:

(NOTE: I pause between each statement for as long as I want to notice and reflect on whatever comes up.
Sometimes I pause for a few seconds, sometimes for a few minutes. It is a very intuitive process.
I move onto the next statement when I feel complete with the current one.
Before moving on, I often jot down a few notes about what came up - sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, images, insights, etc.)

• That happened.


• Everything that led up to that happening happened.


• Everything that happened in the past is over, and all the origins of that experience are healing now.


• I no longer resonate or identify with that experience or with anything that led up to it.


• All the places in me where that experience has been stored are healing now.
  
  I might add a variety of other statements here, if I feel like getting more specific.
  
  For example...
  All the places in my physical body - in my DNA, cells, bones, organs, hair - where that (experience) has been stored are healing now.
  All the places in my mental body - in my conscious mind & subconscious mind - where that has been stored, are healing now.
  All the places in my emotional body - in my chakras & auric fields - where that has been stored, are healing now.
  All the places in my causal body where that has been stored are healing now.
  All the places in my energy body where that has been stored are healing now.


• All the effects that experience had on me are healing now.

NOTE: Other statements can be added, if desired.

I often like to add:
"All the areas of my life that have been affected by that experience are healing now."
"All of my relationships that have been affected by that experience are healing now."

A very popular one is
"I choose to forgive everyone & everything I blamed including God & myself."

In the process of doing this technique, I often have deeper insights into the causal factors of the experience and the effects it had on me.
I often get a sense that the patterns involved go back many generations.

This technique naturally emerged for me out of repeated use of the TAT™ (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and some other energy healing modalities that I have learned.

contact@neutralizingtrauma.com

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