List of Neutralizing Techniques

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MY GO-TO TECHNIQUES

Below are some neutralizing techniques that emerged organically for me from things I have read or heard or from other techniques that I use frequently.

The first one is a bottom-up approach and the rest are top-down.









BodyTalk

This technique can be done while walking, sitting or lying down.

One day, at work, I spontaneously did this while walking around doing my job, and it resulted in neutralizing an anchor.

I didn't even know I was upset about anything, when I started. I was simply checking in with my body.

This technique works whether I have a specific trigger in mind or not.

This technique is a bottom-up approach because it starts by focusing on a physical sensation in the body.
Sensations are connected to emotions and stories.

This is how the technique works:


Silently ask your body, "Hey, Body, how are you feeling?"

Your attention will naturally be drawn to a physical sensation somewhere in your body.
Allow yourself to fully feel this sensation...

As you give this sensation your attention, you start to notice an emotion.
Allow yourself to fully feel this emotion...

As you give this emotion your attention, a memory might surface.
Gently observe it...

This memory might be followed by others.
Follow this stream of consciousness,
Gently observing all the memories that come up..............

After a while, you begin to notice that this trip down memory lane is revealing connections between events in the past and recent events in your life...

You might see a lifelong pattern emerging...

A significant issue in your life is now being illuminated...

You can clearly see that an old program has been running on the hard drive of your subconscious mind.
You understand where this program came from and that it is no longer relevant or needed.
You can let it go now...

This old program is being uninstalled from your subconscious mind...

Your system is being updated...

You feel lighter... freer... perhaps even filled with joy....









The Story

  1. What happened? What am I upset about?

    Example:
    This is escalating into physical violence. This is getting really dangerous. I am afraid she is going to get hurt really badly.

  2. What situation in my past does this remind me of?

    Example:
    The violence in my 3-year marriage escalated to where I was getting thrown around like a rag doll by my husband, who was much bigger than I was.

    Note:
    Through the current situation, I am reliving an experience from the past. The current situation is similar in some way to something traumatic that happened earlier in my life. I am unable to see any differences between the past situation and the present situation, only the similarities. I am emotionally regressed to whatever age I was at the time of the past experience. I fear that the present situation will have the same outcome. I am making a negative prediction about the future and am convinced that it will happen. I have an overwhelming sense of doom.

  3. What story am I telling myself about this situation?

    Example:
    She is going to get thrown around like I did.

  4. What is really happening?

    Example:
    He is harassing her.
    (Which is bad, but not as bad as what I am fearing.)

  5. What is a new story I can tell myself?

    Example:
    Her situation is very different from mine. In 30 years he has never thrown her around, so it is not likely that he will start now.

    Note:
    When this technique works, I am able to see and appreciate the differences between the past and present situations, and a New Story (and outcome) seems believable.



Here is another example scenario...

  1. What happened? What am I upset about?

    Another driver darted out in front of me, I had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting their car, and my body generated a huge shot of adrenaline.

  2. What situation in my past does this remind me of?

    23 years ago an oncoming driver was driving too fast on a snowy road, slid across the road and crashed into me, totaling my car and injuring me.

  3. What story am I telling myself about this situation?

    It is not safe to drive. I am in danger. There are too many reckless drivers on the road and drivers with poor judgment out here endangering their own lives and the lives of others.

  4. What is really happening?

    Obviously I can handle these drivers and whatever comes up on the road because I have not been in a single crash in over 20 yrs.

  5. What is a new story I can tell myself?

    I got this! I am an experienced driver now. I have over 20 years of driving experience, not less than 1 year like I did back when that accident happened.



By paying attention to the Stories I am telling myself and disputing them, I find out what parts of the past are still alive in me and open the door to new possibilities - New Stories.









Deeply Acknowledge

Ben Ralston says that trauma is about survival (safety).
He says that any being, when subjected to a perceived threat, reacts by trying to protect itself against the threat, trying to be safe, trying to survive.
To let go of trauma, Ben says we need to peel back the layers of safety we have been holding onto.
He says we can do this by deeply acknowledging the very first reaction we had.
Then we can complete the trauma instead of staying stuck in the survival instinct, which protected us at the time.

Ben talks about that in this 10-minute video:
How to release or let go of buried feelings and suppressed feelings?

My takeaway from what Ben says in the video is a technique I call "Deeply Acknowledge".


A. Handle
Thinking about the situation that I feel upset about, I ask myself, What is the central problem?
If I'd like, I can also ask, What is the underlying fear beneath this problem?

B. 2 Statements
Then I insert that problem or fear (handle) into the blanks in the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between __________________ and lack of safety.

2. It is safe now to __________________.
OR
I am safe now even if __________________.




Example:
The problem is my friend does not understand me.

  1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [not being understood] and lack of safety.
    OR
    I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being misunderstood] and lack of safety.

  2. It is safe now to [be misunderstood].
    OR
    I am safe now even if [someone doesn't understand me].

Example:
The underlying fear is that I will be rejected.

  1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being rejected] and lack of safety.

  2. It is safe now to [be rejected].
    OR
    I am safe now even if [someone rejects me].

Example:
The problem is that the person bullied me or the underlying fear is that I will be bullied.

  1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [being bullied] and lack of safety.

  2. I am safe now even if [someone tries to bully me].
    OR
    In most situations, I am safe now as an adult even if [someone tries to bully me].

    (Keep in mind that neutralizing techniques are meant for situations in which there is no real threat present, but we think there is because we are subconsciously equating our present situation with a past event in which there was an actual or perceived threat.)






Alternate Version
I identify my survival reaction and insert it into the following two statements:

1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between __________________ and safety.

2. It is safe now to __________________.
OR
I am safe now even if __________________.




Example:

  1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [staying silent] and safety.

  2. It is safe now to [speak up for myself].

Example:

  1. I deeply acknowledge the subconscious association between [people-pleasing] and safety.

  2. It is safe now to [stop trying to please others].
    OR
    It is safe now to [focus on what would please me instead of on pleasing other people].
    OR
    I am safe now even if [someone is displeased].



These statements update my system, which changes my subconscious program/script.

This technique can sometimes stand on its own, but I almost always pair it with the next technique - Breaking Agreements - using the same handle.









Breaking Agreements

I insert the issue (handle) into the following two statements:

1. I no longer agree that it is bad to __________________.

2. I no longer agree that I am bad if __________________.


Example 1:

  1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be misunderstood].

  2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone misunderstands me].
    OR
    I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone does not understand me].

Example 2:

  1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be rejected by someone].

  2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone rejects me].

Example 3:

  1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be bullied].

    (That is not to say that bullying itself isn't bad.)

  2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone bullies me].

Example 4:

  1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [speak up].

  2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [I speak up for myself].

Example 5:

  1. I no longer agree that it is bad to [be displeased].
    OR
    I no longer agree that it is bad for [others to be displeased].
    OR
    I no longer agree that it is bad if [someone is displeased].

  2. I no longer agree that I am bad if [someone is displeased].



This technique was inspired by what I read in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

To sum it up, when we were kids, many adults told us a bunch of untrue stuff in order to get us to behave how they thought we should.
I think most of these adults were well-meaning. Perhaps some were not.
Either way, by complying with what they said and trying to be "good", we essentially agreed with them that how we naturally were was "bad".

Now we can break all those agreements, freeing us to be how we naturally are, instead of how other people wanted us to be.

This technique can stand on its own or be tacked on at the end of any other neutralizing technique.









Protector Update

I once heard Thomas Hubl say that trauma freezes time, and that really stuck with me.

This technique evolved out of my understanding of that and of Parts (from Internal Family Systems) and repeated use of a reframing exercise called the Graduation Exercise.

I found that I can liberate the internal parts of me that stepped up to protect me long ago when I was a vulnerable child simply by verbally updating them.

When I discover a story or old belief or old strategy for meeting my needs that no longer serves me, but I can't seem to let go of it, then I know that a part of me is still using that story, belief or strategy to protect me.

I speak directly to this Protector part of me.


"Thank you for your dedicated service all these years.
You have shown tremendous perseverence in trying to keep me safe by ______________________________.
[For Example: driving me do everything in my power to get others to understand me, so they will like me - or at least not hate me]

That helped me survive in the dysfunctional environment I grew up in.

I am an adult now, and my life circumstances are very different now than they were back then.
I no longer need you to do this service anymore.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me!"









First Time (Vulnerable Child)

Thinking about a current triggering event, I ask myself a series of questions.

  1. What am I feeling?

    (At first, I needed to use a feelings list to help me identify my feelings.)

  2. When was the first time I ever felt this feeling?

    I acknowledge and give myself empathy for every experience that comes to mind as I wait for the first time to surface.

    Eventually something really old comes up (from my childhood), and I intuitively recognize it as the original, very first time.

    (I do not always need to have a direct memory of what happened, to resolve it. One time a story I had been told about something that happened when I was two years old came to mind, and I immediately recognized that as the unresolved root trauma.)

    I give myself lots of empathy.

    [For Example: "I was so young, when that happened! Of course I was overwhelmed! That was so difficult, confusing and painful for such a small child to deal with all alone!"]

  3. What did I need when that happened?

    I imagine those needs getting met.

  4. Why were my needs unmet?

    I examine what my child self's interpretation was of what happened.

    I re-evaluate what happened, applying my adult understanding to the situation.

    Knowing what I know now, as an adult, I examine what was going on in the lives of the adults around me at that time.

    I usually discover that I have been living with some unnecessary fear and erroneous beliefs about myself, other people, and the world as a result of my limited child-level interpretation of what happened.


    5. Increasing understanding decreases fear.

    Once my feelings about the root trauma are transformed, my feelings about the current event that triggered me automatically shift, and I am able to see it and respond to it in a different way.



This technique emerged for me after listening to Teal Swan talk about resolving trauma by asking yourself 2 questions (What am I feeling? When was the first time I ever felt this feeling?) and then imagining getting your needs met in that past situation.

Those 2 questions are very similar to another technique I heard someone describe, which they referred to as a Regression technique. (What am I feeling? When was another time I felt this way?)

For me, the 3 key components of resolving trauma are acknowledgement, empathy and understanding.

The importance of acknowledgement in the healing process is emphasized by Paramahamsa Nithyananda in a talk he gave about a Vedic completion process.
Click Here to Watch Video (start at 4:17)

Self-Empathy is an important part of any kind of reparenting and inner child work.

I have discovered that re-evaluating things that happened in the past and developing a new understanding of them helps me liberate myself from the past.









Past Experience

If I have already identified an anchor (a past experience - my own or another's), and I do not want to resonate with it anymore, I can say a series of statements to clear away the residue.

1. State the experience.

(What happened?)

2. Say the following statements:

(NOTE: I pause between each statement for as long as I want to notice and reflect on whatever comes up.
Sometimes I pause for a few seconds, sometimes for a few minutes. It is a very intuitive process.
I move onto the next statement when I feel complete with the current one.
Before moving on, I often jot down a few notes about what came up - sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, images, insights, etc.)

  • That happened.

  • Everything that led up to that happening happened.

  • Everything that happened in the past is over, and all the origins of that experience are healing now.

  • I no longer resonate or identify with that experience or with anything that led up to it.

  • All the places in me where that experience has been stored are healing now.

    I might add a variety of other statements here, if I feel like getting more specific.

    For example...
    All the places in my physical body - in my DNA, cells, bones, organs, hair - where that (experience) has been stored are healing now.
    All the places in my mental body - in my conscious mind & subconscious mind - where that has been stored, are healing now.
    All the places in my emotional body - in my chakras & auric fields - where that has been stored, are healing now.
    All the places in my causal body where that has been stored are healing now.
    All the places in my energy body where that has been stored are healing now.

  • All the effects that experience had on me are healing now.

NOTE: Other statements can be added, if desired.

I often like to add:
"All the areas of my life that have been affected by that experience are healing now."
"All of my relationships that have been affected by that experience are healing now."

A very popular one is
"I choose to forgive everyone & everything I blamed including God & myself."



In the process of doing this technique, I often have deeper insights into the causal factors of the experience and the effects it had on me.
I often get a sense that the patterns involved go back many generations.

This technique naturally emerged for me out of repeated use of the TAT™ (Tapas Acupressure Technique) and some other energy healing modalities that I have learned.















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